Chicken Grease?

So since I am now single and have had a few months to recover from the debacle that was my last relationship, my friends have taken an interest in trying to find men for me to date. There are also men coming out of the woodwork with an interest in me. I have to say, this has never really happened – especially so many at once. Maybe it is because after my last relationship, I am a little bit more bold with guys and less shy about dating in general.

The only issue with this is these guys are NOT GOOD. All of them are pretty overweight and, not that I think I am the hottest person ever, I think I could do a little better … at least physically. And they are all REALLY nice. I feel bad saying that since it seems shallow. But at this point, I just have to be honest.

Option A) Jack Black / Hurley from LOST love child look alike. Please refer back to my blog post entitled Dodging the ‘Stache.

Option B) Big Boy: He is REALLY nice but kind of obese. BB has been texting me and I want to be friends, but I don’t want to lead him on and make him think I want more.

Option C) Ginger Goatee: Again a heavy guy who is SUPER nice and actually really fun. I just do not think I could get past the goatee.

Option D) Chicken Grease: This is by far the best. This morning I get an email from one of my friends saying that this person is interested in me. Now – I don’t remember him but just assumed I knew him and was drunk and forgot who he was. It happens. He asked to be my FB friend and so I accepted since we had so many friends in common. It turns out that this man is missing a front tooth and is a redneck whose friends have lovingly nicknamed him Chicken Grease.

First off, I would be really mad if someone named me Chicken Grease. Second, REALLY? My friends think I should date a toothless man named CHICKEN GREASE?

All of this is kind of unprecedented. I am not asking my friends to hook me up with anyone. And how did Chicken Grease even decide he was interested in me if we don’t really know eachother.

I asked one of my best guy friends, B, what he thinks and his theory is that I really set the standards low with my ex and everyone wondered why I was dating him. Not only was he not the hottest, he was not even nice. So now people think I have no filter as to who I will date.

Every year for July 3rd my best friend, Britt, and her family throw a party. And half of my potential suitors will be there. Maybe there will be a brawl for my love. But I certainly hope not.